How Women Should Respond to Criticism

Statement: You don’t have the body to wear a bikini.

Response: You don’t have the vocabulary to understand half the shit I say.

 

Statement: Women belong in the kitchen.

Response: Sexists belong in shallow graves in my backyard.

 

Statement: You’re a slut.

Response: No, I’m attractive and charming. You should try it sometime.

 

Statement: You aren’t very ladylike.

Response: I have tits and vagina. Those are the only requirements to be a lady, last I checked.

 

Statement: You’re fat.

Response: Go fuck yourself.

 

Statement: You’re a bitch.

Response: Cool, I’ll be sure to file that under Shit I Already Knew.

 

Statement: Wouldn’t you rather be working than at home with your kids/at home with your kids than working?

Response: Wouldn’t you rather be minding your own fucking business?

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