It’s always baffled me, how two people can date, fall in love, mean the world to each other, then break up and feel nothing but contempt toward a person they shared their life with in such an intimate way.
There are always exceptions: Any kind of abuse. Some incredibly scandalous event, like trying to have you killed for insurance money or banging your sister. I get that. But if two people split because it just isn’t working out, because they fight too much and love too little, then what’s the big deal?
Why can’t we continue being friends with our exes? Weren’t they, at one point, our very best friends? Didn’t we share our victories, our defeats, our fears, our happiness, our secrets, and our stories? Do we just not think that any type of friendship would be beneficial to either party?
***NOTE: None of this will apply if there are still residual feelings left over. Time and space, my friends. Go slow, start small. Always remember, it ended for a reason, and that reason was probably a pretty damn good one.
1. They can call us out on our bullshit.
They know exactly when we’re talking out of our asses, being unrealistic, being too judgmental, and, in general, being a total shithead. And now that they’re officially in the friend zone, they have nothing to lose (read: sexy nekkid time) by telling us to chill the fuck out. So while a lot of our friends will just feed in to our nonsense because they think it’s what friends should do, an ex will help us put whatever brand of crazy we’re wearing in to perspective.
2. They know what we need when we’re drunk.
Whether it’s to be left alone or coddled, cut off from shots or fed a cheeseburger, an ex has been there. Maybe a lot, if you really like to hit the sauce. It’s always nice to have a reliable babysitter to make sure your skirt doesn’t fly over your head and vomit stays in designated areas.
3. Fellas, a wingwoman is superior to a wingman.
Women are usually more comfortable talking to other women in bars, and if your ex hits it off with a girl you wouldn’t mind seeing on her back, she can always put in a good reference. But keep in mind – you’ll owe her one.
4. They’ll be the best for critics for the new people we date.
A man can smell a player and a woman can smell a whore. Just like the rest of our friends, an ex will be protective of us – but they also know exactly what kind of good shit we can bring to the table in a relationship and will be a bit more critical of who deserves us. At some point, the bond you have with your ex will evolve in to a sort of sibling relationship – the motivation isn’t jealousy, but a true concern for our happiness and well-being.
5. An ex will keep your secrets – because you know a bunch of theirs.
Provided you had a normal relationship that didn’t involve broadcasting your problems to all your friends or humilating each other on social media, most couples have a LOT of shit on each other by the time the relationship ends. And if you have any respect for them (and you aren’t a fucking 12 year old), you’ve kept that shit to yourself. There is no better confidante than an ex.